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Thursday, January 28, 2010

Married Men has Mistresses. Now Married Women are keeping Mister!

We all heard and talk about how some rich ladies, the 'tai tais' or the 'Datins' that keeps toy boys. Well, this article below confirmed that time has certainly changed. If you remember my posting 'TO CHEAT OR NOT TO CHEAT', it's almost the same case. Our Grace, the typical housewife is contemplating of this 'young hairstylist', Prince to be her toy boy :-). And judging from all the support given in the comments posted from all of you readers, am sure Grace is very much tempted. Am just curious, has she had her first taste of sexual escapade yet?

And would any of you reader (ladies I meant), be tempted to 'keep a Mister'? For first timer, there's always the fear and excitement of been caught. The advice given in this article is that you need an alibi :-). So get your girlfriends hook on to the idea too, IF you are in it already or contemplating.

To me, women being women, there's always the danger of getting emotionally involved. So far, I have yet to hear of any women that said they could just have sex continuously with this same guy without getting emotionally involved. Unless, it's just a one-night stand and how many one night stand that any women or men can find. Be prepared to have heartaches as well as I believe women somehow are still possessive. Doesn’t matter they are cheating, they still want their ‘mister’ to be faithful, all the more if you are keeping this toy boy comfy. I would IF I am doing that!

Here's to more liberated sex for all women this new decade, in this 21st century! Enjoy the article.

To read more, just COPY & PASTE this link :
http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article6975683.ece



""We discuss the rules of keeping a male mistress, more precisely, a “mister”, in her 4WD during shopping expedition in a smart provincial town. It starts snowing, the engine runs, the heated seats warm the rear of her expensive jeans. She’s tall, dark and good-looking, as much through gym sweat and impeccable grooming as genetic good fortune.

She’s friendly, sweet almost, and buzzing with positive energy. When she talks about a series of intensely physical and largely unemotional relationships with men, she makes it sound demure and ladylike. Even when she is saying something like, “My lovers have to be good-looking and fit. You know, intelligent and fun to be with, and very good at oral sex.”

Jilly has echoes of Vera Farmiga’s character, Alex, in the new George Clooney film Up in the Air. The sexually assured executive aces the similarly no-strings-please Clooney character with the line: “Just think of me as you, but with a vagina.” When he falls in love with her, it is only to discover she is married with kids. Farmiga says she loved the Alex character because, “when a female character is so demanding and unapologetic [sexually], she usually lacks some dignity. It was cool to see someone who was completely self-possessed, had class, had depth and yet was operating in a very masculine way”.

Jilly does not see herself as acting in a very masculine way — rather, as creating the best possible situation to preserve her happiness as an individual, and as part of a well-enough-functioning family unit. “I have a comfortable life, I have a kind husband and lovely children. Why would I hurt them? My husband’s a difficult man, but I am happy. We share our long-standing in-jokes and rows, we are great friends. Every other word bar love describes our marriage.”

Sex with her husband is both rare and unexciting, but she remained completely faithful to him until, quite unexpectedly, she had an affair with a slightly younger widower she plays golf with. “It was liberating, but it was also dangerous. Very consciously, I knew this was good for me. Not long after calling time on the affair I started looking online. I love men, I love their company, yet as a stay-at-home mother you find your only social life is with your kids or girlfriends. But much as I do enjoy getting the odd lovely text from a man, really the only reason I do this is for the sex.

“In choosing a man I am measured and calm. What I want are peccadilloes, not a full-blown affair. You need to find someone you can get to know and feel comfortable with, because things get better when you know someone. I met a lot of men, some just weren’t experienced enough — I never wanted to be a Mrs Robinson figure. Others thought they could handle a married woman, but they’d start feeling guilt, worry and fear of my husband’s shotgun. It’s a delicate balance. You need the chemistry, but you have to watch it — if the chemistry is too good then you will feel like you are falling in love. When the sex gets very intense it tends to seed emotional ties.”

This avoidance of too much emotion seems a key rule in the decorous affair. As one man I know says, “I love a dalliance with an older married woman because they have more to lose than me. We are also wise enough not to get too attached.”

So does Jilly ever feel guilty? “Initially I felt very bad about deceiving my family. I find all the subterfuge awful. Then I thought, sod it, you’ve been an unselfish devoted mother and corporate wife for years. Now I think it does me good, makes me a more pleasant person the rest of the time. If I had a decent sexual relationship with my husband, I wouldn’t do this.”

In the 10 years since she started her extramarital affairs, she has told only one friend, a fellow adulteress, and they provided each other with alibis. Other alibi opportunities come in the form of having genuine hobbies. “You can’t just suddenly make up a new time-consuming passion though, that’s going to look suspicious.”

Mostly, though, she sees her lovers not too frequently, less than once a week, and when her husband is away. She has also found that younger men are the best option. “They have no interest in emotional ties, they are safe, and they are far more likely to consider a woman’s orgasm as important. And they have hair.”

The field of infidelity is a wide one and includes anything from paying for sex to full-blown, head-over-heels, second-life lovers. In Jilly there is a calculated, masculine steel we do not generally associate with feminine love. But there is also a strict and respectful gentleness and respect for preserving the integrity of her love for her family, her husband, and, indeed, herself. In her we see the masculine laws of the mistress redrawn in a more tender feminine way. It is hard to judge her.

THE OTHER SIDE

Arran is a carpenter in his early twenties and got involved with married women when they started brazenly approaching him at gyms. “I don’t want a relationship, and married women are uncomplicated. They know exactly what they want. Some women say they aren’t married, but there are telltale signs — they compartmentalise their lives. Generally they are in their thirties or forties, their husbands have got out of shape or lost interest or are simply not adventurous enough for their wives.

I was in a sporty gang at school, and most of us are at it with married women. To an extent they pass us around. I don’t care. I’ve got two on the go at the moment, one for six months, the other a bit longer. I don’t let them buy me presents. Married women already tend to be very dominant, and I don’t want them having a hold on me.”

Arran’s rules of the game:
(1) Don’t let them control you
(2) Never contact them unless they ask you to
(3) Don’t get hung up about when you are going to see them. Be adaptable and be available during the day
(4) Let them take the lead and tell you what they want
(5) Don’t take it seriously. It’s fun, just enjoy the sex; in my experience, it’s a lot better than any single girl of your own age is going to give you

6 comments:

  1. Very interesting article but I m sure that it's a western source unless proven otherwise. I m married with kids, husband a little tough to handle, sex is good. But, there have been men fr all walks of life have appealed to me mainly beciz they find me sexy n attractive which I don't get such compliments fr the hubby. I find the young ones wants to be a toy boy, have wild sex n that's it. I find married men safer to have flings with coz no matter what, family usually comes first. I did contemplate having a toy boy to feel the void in life, but too much is at stake. Thus, left it as that. Maybe one day...

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  2. What has happened to women? A cheat is still a cheat. You suppose to believe that just because she's soft, feminine, gentle...and she goes back to her husband, contented...it's suppose to make things right. In any relationship, a betrayal brings emotional and psychological harm, men or women alike. All of us have our pride and ego.

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  3. Life's too short Anonymous. "Maybe one day...." might just never come. Do it now. Married men are great and safe as we still want to keep our family. Toy boy...needs to know the rules as highlighted in the article, otherwise could be a problem.

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  4. Well my pants are still on when it comes to Prince, tried breaking off with Prince twice but ended up hugging him tighter. Not even sure what I want from Prince now but his hugs were the best I ever had ! Thanks to all your comments.

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  5. Hey 'Anonymous', you are Grace right? :-). Good to hear that nothing happen. If you aren't prepare...just keep to hugs. These are just distractions. Take good care.

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  6. Hi grace, I can feel the thrill n satisfaction to have those comforting hugs. The pants need not come down. Most of the time a woman just need some attention, warmth, love n hugs. And that may suffice. But if course those may lead to waking up the passion within... Good luck!

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