Is it Ok to Tell a White Lie? If it's for the Right Reason?

This article “A White Lie, for the Right Reason, May Be Just Fine” certainly hits home. It is so true what AARP's relationship expert Pepper Schwartz, said that white lies are gender-specific. “Women tend to lie about how much things cost because they often take it on themselves to keep costs down in the relationship and believe men are ignorant about how much things cost for women. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to lie about work because their egos are tied up in their careers and if things aren't going well, they don't want to look weak or unsuccessful,” she says.



I remember how my friend, Mandy use to keep her shopping’s in the car boot when she saw that her husband is home. And she will smuggle them into the house only when her husband is not around. Why Mindy does this? To her it’s just to avoid her husband exclaiming ‘shopping again?’, and he will then proceed to lecture her on her shopaholic behaviour, on whether she needs another blouse/dress, another pair of shoes, or another set of cosmetic, etc.

Although we argued that she’s not using his money after all she’s working and has her own income. But Mandy still prefers not to let him know what a shopaholic she is.

Then there’s another friend, Zana, who will also raved to her spouse what a great sale it was. And she will show off to her spouse her purchases, marking down each of the prices by another 20-30%.

For me, it’s my mum that I need to lie on the prices of my shopping. Having worked hard in her young life, never been extravagant, my mum would have a fit when she knows the real price of my Prada bag, or my Gucci bag. Or even just a simple Calvin Klien’s t-shirt.

And whilst most men are ignorant about how much things cost, I am blessed that my darling knows how much prices has escalated over the years and how expensive things have become. Hence, he would understand if I am to tell him that a household branded g-string, with that tiny bit of cloth would cost RM35!

As to it been difficult for men to tell their spouse that things are not working well with their career, my friend, Cindy too felt the same sometimes. She can tell me if things are not going to well in the office or if she’s stucked with some issues that she can’t solved. But Cindy just can’t tell her boyfriend about it. To her, her boyfriend has already placed her on this pedestal, admiring her for her intelligent and proud of her achievements, that she thinks that it will lower her image to her boyfriend if she admits her work problems to him that she’s just stressed and just can’t cope.

For Cindy, she prefers to have her boyfriend continue to be infatuated with her achievements, to continue to admire her abilities.
Is it the right way or wrong way? I would think that as long they are happy and they maintain peace at home, I suppose it’s ok to continue with these ‘small’ white lies. I called it ‘small’ as it’s not hurting anyone. It’s only hurting when the shopaholic gets out of control and starts getting into debts. Then that’s a no no.

For more reading, copy and paste this link :
http://www.thirdage.com/marriage/a-white-lie-for-the-right-reason-may-be-just-fine?page=0%2C1&utm_medium=email&utm_source=nl_relationships-love_20100114&utm_campaign=thirdage