Let me tell you of this story of a young lovely woman. Let’s call her Grace. She’s married with few young kids. She’s extremely lovely and still young, still has that high sexual adrenaline pumping in her. And there’s this husband of hers that has taken her for granted. Spending all his time in his work, only did the usual courtesy gestures during birthday, anniversary and going for short holidays with kids during the school holiday. And of course, our lovely woman feels neglected, lack of attention, lack of love and husband, burdened with the responsibilities of children’.
And then, like all love or ‘lust’ story, we have a charming young man who happens to meet this lonely, neglected woman. Let’s call him Prince. And guess what, our Prince is her hair stylist. You can imagine how wonderful it is to have man running his fingers over your hair, not to mention after been neglected so long, lack of that soothing touch. And so from setting appointment for hair wash, hair color, hair perm, hair steam…anything to do with the head’s hair, it soon transient to having a coffee after the appointment, lunch. And of course, both exchange personal information, Prince unloading his thoughts, his feelings and our Grace too, unloading her loneliness, her been neglected. And soon one thing leads to another, opportunities presented itself, Prince kisses Grace and the fire of lust begins to build up, initiated from a small glow.
Sanity somehow stops Grace whom realizes that it’s wrong. And that she has a lot to lose by satisfying her lust. And so Grace told Prince to hold off. But having tasted the fruits of passion, Grace since then, has been pinning for Prince, has been day dreaming, lusting to taste that passion again. Lust has a way to make a person lost interests in everything. Day in, day out, night in, night out, Grace can’t seems to concentrate on anything but that moment of ‘passion’ with Prince. Grace still goes to Prince for her hair stuffs but has since cut off those coffee times. And Prince has been a good boy, although occasionally still tempts Grace with a short sms like ‘I miss you’.
What would you advise Grace to do? Grace's an avid follower of my blog and she appreciates your advise.
Common sense tells her to forget it but lust as usual is stronger. Otherwise why do we have Presidents, Ministers, MPs all involved in sex scandals? Grace knows she’s not going to leave her family for this Prince. It’s not about love. It’s also not just about lust, but maybe they did find something common in each other, that both are lonely. And to get over this lust, maybe Grace should just do it and forget about it thereafter?
PS: I have to put a qualifier here, that Grace’s husband has cheated on her, not once but twice which he acknowledged, not as in admitting but in making up to Grace. So does that qualify Grace to cheat too?
Shhh...tell me which hairstylist. Where? Let me test him out first. See if he's sincere. All these hair stylist, gym instructor...they all know most married women are lonely, neglected. And that's when they come in. Careful
ReplyDeleteHmmmm...tough choice. Life's too short. Grace, let nature takes it's course. If it's meant to happen, it will happen. But you don't initiate it. Just don't fall in love. As Joy said, it's LUST. Once quenched, reality comes in.
ReplyDeleteFinally see some comments here :). Let me share my experience. Come to think of it...again same 'married woman' story. Except that I was busy with my career and thought husband was busy too, entertaining clients, coming home late, etc. Until I found that he was having affair with office colleague. Going for trips that always seems to be on Friday night. I just thought he's visiting branches. When I found out, I just can't get over that 'um kam yin' (not satisfied) feeling. So I seduced my boss on one of the nights that we were entertaining some clients. My boss was a goody man, so called 'god fearing', goes to church every Sunday. And see what happened when lust comes into picture. He too forgot and we were soon having torrid sex with every opportunity we had. I absolutely forgot how great sex was when it's new. 'Especially' when you know there's possibility of been found out, of been discovered. And believe it or not, it went on till now...it's been 5 years already. Now it's my turn to plan for trips away in excuse of work. And I felt a sense of satisfaction that I am doing it too, like 'tit for tat'. And am not bothered anymore if my husband goes for trips. Is it healthy this relationship? I don't know. We still do the couple stuffs, going for movies, weekend with family, long holiday overseas. Our sex is still great though not as often. As for my boss, we just found a 'confession' companion in each other. We can talk about our family problems, spouse, etc. And we have come to a point where we don't expect each other to leave our family. Although there was a bit of struggle initially as we do get to care for each other. So is this a good example to say 'go for it'. I don't think so. As I went in knowing that I just want sex to revenge. Just so happens that things turn out the other way. Am just lucky maybe. So Grace, there's sure to be price to pay for everything, just don't know how extensive the price is. If you are prepare, go and have great sex.
ReplyDeleteI just know that illegal sex is always great. But I won't trade it if my spouse is committed to me. As long both of us are true to each other, I won't risk it.
ReplyDeleteJust do it!
ReplyDeleteF the guilt
It's scary n how real all the stories above are. It's happening almost everywhere. Married ppl are now lonely n most vulnerable when down. When 2 lonely ppl find solace, becoming alive, needed, wanted, in each other's company, lust happens. Then once tasted, the thirst lingers. For the sake of the kids, couples stay on. To hold on to a complete normal family portrait, couples live on. Remember the series, 'Lipstick Jungle', succesful woman looks all perfect with a nice husband. Both civil with each other, lovey dovey in a common routine till the passion fizzles out. Both have affairs. But life goes on. Sex is important, so is love. Family is important, but do is happiness n the need to satisfy one's needs. So what decision one makes? I say no one has a right to comment. If u r in such situation, u will never ever know what is right or wrong. Just hope that whatever choices we make, live with it; good or bad, that moment of lust, the warmth, the cold loneliness, etc. Gosh, what is happening to many of us. It's scary n sad. Looks like fairy tales r just that.
ReplyDeleteThis actually reminded me of the movie "Unfaithful" starring Richard Gere and Diane Lane.
ReplyDeleteWell I guess it all very much depending on you, what you want and how you feel about this and your desires. If you are married, if you feel there's guilt then don't even think about it and just be faithful to your family and try to talk about your feeling of loneliness and lack of sensuality with your partner. Of course if you are single and available, you are free to do what you feel like.
I would understand the new feel and taste of sensuality is always the best and is great, but if you are commited to someone very speacial in your life be faithful and have a strong mind of commitment otherwise the price to pay is getting some hurt. Cynthia
Women these days are so different. My God these stories. So much pressure on men. Not only we work hard to keep them comfy at home, now have to ensure their emotional needs are satisfied. Are the sexes changing their role?
ReplyDeleteThis is not about women changing their role. Woman is always a woman whom are emotional and sensitive eventhough if they have a very strong character in them. They have their unique ways of been concerned for someone or anyone. You can't change that.
ReplyDeleteWould you know how it feels if you were cheated by your wives or husband once, again and again due to the desires and temptation in everyone of us. This is not about pressure is the feeling of hurting and painfulness that we have to go thru when such cheating happened and who would suffered the most..is the children we have together, if you are married and if you are single, there's where the stress would attack you and the feeling of loosing out.
I would say that the society and our surrounding are changing. We got to have a good strong mind to know what are our needs and wants. We have to learn to control and understand each other desires and temptations. Is not about presuring men and men have to work hard to keep the women comfy and ensuring their emotional needs..is all about the precious communications and understanding together. We need to learn to talk with each other at all time.
Wow...thank you all for the comments. It's fantastic that we have so many different views. Finally the main gist of it, is to 'just do it' as long woman don't feel any guilt about it. Time certainy has changed. Now women are more open of what they want. Am glad you all enjoy the blog :-). By the way, GRACE, how about your thoughts?
ReplyDeleteLet me put a different spin on this topic. I have heard and personally know of many instances where the wife caught the husband in the sex act in their matrimonial home. From one of royal family with 5 children; to a corporate high flying couple to your regular Joe. All have since become ex-husbands.
ReplyDeleteSex has nothing to do with marriage and staying faithful. Many marriages survive inspite and despite the extra-matrial sex.
Hence my view Just do It. F the guilt. Be discreet.
A friend once said, "if u saw my spouse with someone else, pls don't tell me. I rather not know n life continues." perhaps it's true, don't stand on the pedestle n think all marriages r love forever, till death do us part. Ppl now are balancing their needs n wants n at the same time trying to hold on to everything that's right. That's why many just have affairs n don't go for divorce. Just to keep family intact. I agree with be discreet, don't go overboard n pray u don't ever get caught. Life is short, life is fragile, so balance it all out n live life without regrets!
ReplyDeleteKind of pathetic don't any of you think so? What has happen to 'real love'? Or maybe the cheating party just don't love the partner enough? That's why there's no guilt when he's just thinking to 'fxxk'. I still believe if it's true love, one would stop just when they are about to cheat. I suppose maybe it's also easier for both men and women to cheat these days. There's just too much temptations out there and both sexes are more liberated. And it's true, that friend's comment. I too rather not know. Once known and even if marriage remains, the trust is not there anymore. Everytime he's away from you, your mind starts wondering what is he doing, is he telling the truth. And we waste our time, imagining and agonizing on what he could be doing. Our mind is so powerful that imagination can be so real. So we have to learn to control our mind, to learn to forget the past and CONCENTRATE AND LIVE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT. Handle the future as and when it comes. Thank you again for all the comments, though am curious whose all these 'anonymous' :-). Although I do understand that we all need privacy. Please continue to comment. Have a wonderful weekend all.
ReplyDeleteHelllooooo...this is a bit too sexiest. Men too have feelings. What happened to those good old days of women? They are just happy to marry and devote themselves to their husbands. It's too bad if they so happen marry a guy that likes to cheat. In those old days, women just closed their eyes and still keep their husbands' bed warm. Maybe women should ask, what have they done to keep their husbands or partners happy? Why don't women be the one to be burdened with the financials!
ReplyDeleteP, i think you're still living in the 60s. Women are still the same, but smarter! We refuse to be bullied anymore. We refuse to please the husband but please ourselves. I used to be the perfect wife (well almost) throughout my marriage until i decided, after my husband's 2 affairs (that i'm aware of. 1st lasted 2 yrs, 2nd lasted/lasting 6 yrs), it's over! All the lies, the heart breaks, sleepless nights, puffy eyes, have to stop. I moved on, focus on what i like and want. Then one day, i met a man. We had coffee, dinner, more coffee, then to his house. I was very, very guilty (never cheated on husband ever before) but i loved the idea that another man found me attractive and wanted me. The feeling was healing. It made me feel superior, independent, confident. So, what i'm saying is, lust/sex is good, is therapeutic. I'm happier now. I don't care about my husband's affair anymore. I can let go and move on. I don't let that other woman drive me crazy anymore (mentally). I enjoy my life and i am more productive as a mum now.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth, I truly support your comment. This is true, women these days have become smarter esp for those who have gone thru with such relationship experiences. If you have never felt the cheating it's hard to know how hurt it can be but the best is always learn from the experiences and move on with your life. Have a strong mind and keep focus on your wants and needs. There bound to be someone who would treat you right and give you lots of happiness.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth, kudos to u. U r right that many women stopped n say 'hey what about me?' instead of living a bitter life a little too late, I would say some would find the opportunities to renew their life through other men who find them sexy n attractive, instead if the 'stupid boring old wife'. Anyway life is complicated these days n we all want to live, not just exist.
ReplyDeleteAm back. Anything happen? Did Grace finally cheated?
ReplyDelete