Love thy Neighbours

The headline - "Mark Zuckerberg Sounds Like the Neighbor From Hell" immediately reminds me of my neighbours. A story that I must shared.

Mark Zuckerberg as a neighbour

Thank you. Photo: Andrew Ross, Andrew Ross, SF Chronicle.

As for Mark Zuckerberg's neighbours, I can understand and sympathies with them. Home is our sanctuary, our nest. Once we are in our home, it's supposed to exude this feeling of peace and quietness. Close your eyes and reminisce how it felt the peace and quiet. Doesn't matter that our teenage kids want to blast his rock music to the highest as long it's within the confines of his room and it doesn't disturb the neighbours.

The constant drilling, the constant banging is a noise that many can't take especially when it's over a period of hours, after hours and days after days. Not to mention the dust that they renovation are creating around the neighbourhood. To have your windows, doors, grills, all wax with layer of dust within the next hour after you had wiped it off.

However, I am writing this 'Love thy Neighbours' is because of another story that I like to share with all of you.

Along my street, I had these two neighbours that are in loggerheads for past few years already. Before I go into the full story, a non-Malaysian has to understand the concept of a linked-house, as some countries don't call it linked-house. It means the houses are linked side by side without any space in between. Hence a row of 10 houses would be linked to each other without any empty side space in-between each houses. The only leisure empty space outside of the house is the front car porch and the back yard where one can plant trees, shrubs and flowers.

These quarrels must have escalated to 'enemy' stage as one of the neighbour has installed ply wood wall on his side of the house at the front car porch area so that he don't need to ever see his neighbour. I think most of you can imagine how ugly this looks to the street in this neighbourhood.

Upon investigating, I was told that the neighbour "A" that installed this ply wood wall apparently has this obsession that neighbour "B" is always following him in whatever he does. When he paints his house purple, she paints hers too. When he changed his car, she changes hers too. And it even comes to the point that when he drives out from the 'sharing' parking space, she would drive back all the way from wherever she is, just to take over that parking lot by parking her spare car there!

So how does one deal with a neighbour like this? Who can be a judge to say is it really that neighbour "B" wants to be the Joneses or is neighbour "A" imagining all these?

I am yet to see what will happen next. I just need to write this after reading a man like "Mark Zurkerberg" also behaves like that!

How about sharing your neighbour's story?

I Hate You, Mom.

To all fans,

Am back after a long break. It has been an eventful long break. I had changed my blog to “AskWomen” after considering the good advices from fans and friends. #AskWomen because the topics discussed here are universal to women all over the world. It makes good sense.

I had also embarked on my book finally and had started e publishing the book titled ‘Broken Dreams’ via this great ‘wattpad’ app. - http://www.wattpad.com/44209175-about-broken-dreams

Please do ‘FOLLOW’, ‘LIKE’ and ‘SHARE’ it. I Thank You for the support.

Well, am starting off my renamed blog with this topic - “I Hate You Mom.”

As a Mom with teenage and adult children, I can understand how another Mom would feel when her ‘grown’ child blames her for the family break-up and telling Mom that “She Hates Her.’ This is not in the heat of moment like how a little child would said it because she couldn’t get to buy her favorite toy but it was said during a serious discussion in a serious tone.

This Mom is devastated; confused that she now even thinks it is truly her fault that the family broke up.

I just can’t see this Mom going through the pain knowing that she has done everything she could to save the marriage. Many chances were given to her spouse, the dad. Even to the extend of buying ‘help’ books to assist him. Finally to even, listing out the things that each spouse should change.

But dad didn’t change or couldn't change. So Mom just need to have an outlet to confide to someone. It so happens that Mom broke down at that moment when she was with a ‘guy’ friend. Guy friend was sympathetic, listened well, knowing when to offer advice and when just to listen. And so each confession becomes more regular and one thing leads to another. And an affair begins.

So the Mom had an affair. But don’t all Moms agree that a Mom would never ever have an affair if her marriage were a happy marriage. Especially Mom with growing up kids. I was once a working Mom too. And I understand how busy a working Mom is, having to rush back from office to attend to their children, not to mention the many chores awaiting them. Why would a Mom get herself into an affair when she doesn’t even have time for herself?

Of course, Dad found out about the affair. There were many serious quarrels, accusations thereafter. As the child was still young than and for the child sake, both stayed together. But the child was an only child and she had experienced the love of a pair of doting, loving parents with happy family meal time, happy outings, and holidays together since she was a toddler. Then she saw all the quarrels, the separate holidays, separate meal time, the non-harmonious atmosphere at home which the Dad did not bother to keep these ugly scenes from her. Whilst the Mom had always taken care to keep all the unhappiness, the arguments she was going through from her daughter. Which of course resulted in the daughter blaming the Mom for the family break-up, as she has not seen any quarrels prior to Mom having an affair.

All these affected her through her growing up years and the feelings built up inside her that she just let it all out on that particular day, just before she leaves home for college – ‘I hate you. You were the one that broke up the family. You were the one that causes Dad to be this way because Dad was so devastated!’

Before my readers here can judge. I should give some background to the issues that the poor Mom was facing - Dad’s heavy drinking to the point of being an alcoholic. And like most alcoholic, Dad talks more when drunk. More abusive – only verbal abuse – thank goodness. Finally to the point of bringing the abuse to the bedroom which we don’t need to go into the details. Of course being alcoholic means no exercise too and Dad gets bigger and heavier.

Hence, my dear readers, how would you advise the Mom?

I think there is no point in going into the fact of who’s right or who’s wrong.

The main concern is how would the relationship between the Mom and Daughter be salvaged. She has gone to college and likely will not be communicating much now with Mom. As the Chinese would said ‘Now you have wings, you can fly.’

Or how about share any story of similar “I hate you Mom." Either from your own experience or from a friend.

(THANK YOU to http://www.wattpad.com/528069-dear-mom-i-hate-you for the image)

How to beat a cheating husband?

Let's face it. All women subconsciously know what they should do to keep their husband, boyfriend, and lover. But it's that one question which many women are asking 'why must women be the one to take the effort to keep their men'?

Traditionally Asian women have been taught to accept men's infidelity. I remember my grandfather has two wives and each wife bored him 13 children. So he has 26 children. And of course his 26 children multiply further, so you can imagine what a grand, big affair he had during his funeral. His children multiply when they married, so he has more then 70 grand kids.

In the movie 'Raise the Red Lantern', all the wives has to stand outside their door every evening, and they be praying that the man will stop in front of their door with the red lantern. It means he's spending the night with her. What a sad situation then. And that's because those days, women aren't independent.

But then even in these days when women are much more independent and they have their careers, we still see how women can be destroyed by selfish men. All in the name of 'love'. The advise given here in this link is good and makes sense. As I believe finally it's based on two options - it's either you want to keep your man or you don't want to keep your man!

http://www.cheating-boyfriend.net/marriage/marriage-infidelity-%E2%80%93-secrets-to-beating-a-cheating-husband/