Didn't realise that it's been a month since I last posted. I thought this snippet from an article was interesting. The gist of it is that "women basically are unhappier then they are in those years!" True? I suppose it depends on what women are looking for.
Our parents' life was much simpler. They were content with what they have. Especially our mothers, they don't complain when they have to juggle between office or their livelihood job, housework, children...basically it's work and more work for our mums. And it's taken for granted men brings in the dough and gets to relax and rest when they are home. Cos men suppose to be the 'only' one that's working 'real work'. So they get to rest, to look forward for another day of 'hard' work.
But these days, women wants equality. Share in housework, share in taking care of children, anything to do with work, responsibilities, it must be shared. EXCEPT money! What I earned is mine only. What you, husband earned is also mine!
I had to say that maybe 80% of the women are like this especially those from white collars. Whilst the blue collar women are much more submissive and will still 'toll' for their men cos they are dependent on their men. Whilst those women that earns more, will demand for their rights.
So which type of women are you? Are you less happier cos you expect more of your life.
For me, I went through a lot of ups and downs. For now, am so much happier. Contented, happy with what I have, my kids, my love, my family, my friends, my job. I just pray each day that it'll be another blessed day.
Have a good weekend all.
“The Paradox of Choice”
Another theory is that while the women’s movement opened up possibilities, it also opened our eyes to new ways we might fail. Liberation is like original sin you realize you’re powerful but also naked and vulnerable, and that snake in the next cubicle isn’t as nice as you thought he was. “It’s the paradox of choice,” says Sonja Lyubomirsky, professor of psychology at the University of California and author of The How of Happiness. “It increases your chances for happiness but also regret.”
While much ink has been spilled on how women with multiple roles in life—wife, mother, executive, church leader—are more resilient in the face of adversity (if something goes wrong at home, hey, you can still feel good about your performance at work, the reasoning goes), all this variety may be giving women more arenas to find themselves lacking. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, PhD, professor of psychology at Yale University and the author of next month’s The Power of Women, says that multitasking is a boon only if you like what you’re doing: Women earning crappy pay in a crappy job who go home to crappy husbands who treat them like crap are not getting the same thing out of their multiple roles that, say, Nancy Pelosi might be.
The Power to Complain
One thing is certain: Progress has given us the license to moan and groan about our crappy jobs and husbands (and a spiffy new form of media, the blog, tailor made to such ranting!). And this, says Stevenson, further complicates studies on well-being over time. “It’s possible that in the era of the feminine mystique, women felt ashamed to admit they weren’t happy,” she says. “We might find that women haven’t changed their happiness levels; what’s changed is the social sanction for telling the truth.”
Nolen-Hoeksema even conjectures that things may have swung too far in the other direction, so that now misery has become a badge of honor. “It becomes a oneupsmanship thing,” she says. “The more completely stressed-out you are, the higher your status.” While we’ve known for a long time that viruses and fashion fads can be contagious, a burgeoning field of research has begun to show that health factors such as obesity and depression may be catching too. It’s possible, Nolen-Hoeksema says, that we could be abetting this spiral of unhappiness by giving it so much airtime. She actually wrote the book on how women tend to perseverate on the negative (Women Who Think Too Much), and her latest tome pushes women to focus on the good—the emotionally resilient, mentally flexible, socially intuitive, splendidly communicative, communitybuilding stuff about being a girl.
Stevenson also suggests the handwringing may be overkill. “Maybe being happy isn’t the ultimate goal. Maybe things are good the way they are and we need to put less pressure on ourselves to be happy. Maybe what we want is to be dog tired at the end of the day but think, I’m really happy I have this career even though it doesn’t leave a lot of time for yoga.”
